Sunday, March 18, 2012

Oh no no no, Mr. 93%

What's the most dealbreakery word a date could use? Okay, there are a few, but the worst is...

DISCREET. Ugh.

He was so in. He looked like a pinup of a dom-tall, big, very warm energy. I already knew he was a big music nerd. Plus! He brought me the above cupcakes!

Unfortunately, when he started talking about his wife (WHOM! He hadn't mentioned at all in either of his profiles or in two weeks of conversation!) he said that he was very discreet with her about his other relationships. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so I asked him what that meant. He said she doesn't know anything about the girls he dates, not even their names. They basically have a "don't ask don't tell" policy.  So I would never get to meet her or anyone else in his family.

So I had to turn him down. It's not that I necessarily have to be besties with the partners of those I date, though that would be preferable. Having metamours is almost as big a part of the dream as having a boyfriend is. Without having at least some chance to be part of the family, I think the relationship would feel isolating to me.

Even though I'm feeling a little discouraged at the moment, I guess I just have to keep looking for my poly guy, and hope not to waste too many more Sunday afternoons on guys who should have put the dreaded word in their profiles.Grrr! Argh.

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