The day after our first date/first kisses/spontaneous
rope-ordering, he texted to tell me he was out for coffee and looking for books
on Shibari. (!!!) “My new hobby” is how he put it. I tried not to get toooooo
excited—after all, The Lovely Guy had made noises about learning to make a
mojito for me and a bottle of white rum is sitting lonely in my cabinet waiting
for me to learn mojitos for myself. Guys get excited and they say stuff. It’s
cute!
The night before my second date with This Charming
Man, I was trying to learn a tie I could NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME remember the
name of, but which had been a fave during the adventure days. And then! BFF to the
rescue! And/or she and I need maybe a little more with the boundaries! Either
way, she taught me the tie (using the banister, not any of my own columns) and
I felt like everyone involved, past and present, must be amazing at life. BFF
even looked up the name: chainstitching.
This Charming Man arrived at may apartment for brunch
looking out-of-my-league stylish and SO PRETTY that I wasn’t even sure if I
could touch him. (Spoiler alert, I COULD.) It felt really right and natural to
have him standing tall-ly next to me in my teensy kitchen, chopping up sausage
for the omelets. I really messed up the first one and tried to keep it for
myself, but he gallantly took the way-less-cute omelet.
After eggs and cinnamon rolls, I set about teaching
him chainstitching on his gorgeous long arms. It’s so easy and cozy and I almost
immediately (for the first time in YEARS) fell into a rope haze. Deliberate,
patient, and still while both tying and being tied, he seemed right there in
that pretty haze with me.
There’s this thing. It can happen even with the most
tentative rope time. A cinch or a tighten just ***switch*** turns every anxiety
off, every defense mechanism. As he worked and reworked the steps of the tie,
as he unraveled his work and started again, his hands felt so kind. Being
handled with such care and attention made my whole self sunny with happiness.
Work was in like three hours, plenty of time, but I
couldn’t imagine in a million years that I might ever emerge from this glittery
soft head-cloud. I couldn’t imagine how we might, as he put it two more dates
later, unfurl from each other. I was the most still and present I’ve
been in months, years, maybe ever.
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