Since I’ve been officially looking for Boyfriend
Material, I’ve wondered on and off if I should give up the more casual kink
connections. Conventional wisdom, aka my Inner Patriarchy, tells me that I only
should be going on Serious Dates with Serious Relationship Potential, but that
seems kinda high-pressure! I think I can find true love again while slutting it
up, especially since internal happiness feels key to finding the right folks.
Plus, ahhhhhhhh…service. It’s so magical when I get to
play as a service top! The world is so harsh to all of us, I love giving
someone cute a soft place to be for a while, a chance to feel special and cared
for, to rest in pleasure and be wholly celebrated. I deserve that for myself
too! There’s so much power in bringing a sweet stranger kindness and joy, it’s
one of the best parts of adventuring.
I’m so grateful to The Boy Who Brought Flowers for
helping me touch base with the benevolent power of Ma’am-ness!
“Meet you upstairs,” he said, as soon as I released
him from our taking-it-something-like-slow makeout time on the couch. He
bounded upstairs, eager to do a good job.
We were listening to my Liked Songs because none of my
other playlists were feeling quite right. I’d asked him if he had a playlist to
share, but he said something really sweet like “No, I want to be in your world.”
A lot can go wrong with a playlist that’s not really a playlist, but I gave him
the power to skip anytime! He never used it.
I had him strip to his briefs before I gave him the
gentle ribcage harness. He’d mentioned that he wanted to be restrained, wanted
to be swept away.
Side note: Are people sometimes using kink to dissociate?
To be jarred all the way out of themselves and be ready for whatever self comes
next? I know I’ve subbed that way, especially during those hard, hard divorce
times! But I am not that Ma’am!
I wanted us present and slow. I held him close each
time I reached around to cross the ropes at his back. I breathed him in, the
smells of sweat and soap and, very faintly, of cannabis. His shoulders and back
and arms were sculpted with care, and there was something dear about that,
something vulnerable. His body reminded me of the motivational books he was
reading—every part of him wanted to do what he saw as a good job, every sinew
reaching out for approval and praise. I was so happy to give it!
The effort of being a person, any person, is such a
heavy lift. This ambitious, aspiration-filled young man deserved a moment to
just be.
Like the Thoughtful Guy said a few weeks before: “Just
lay here and be you.” I hope my Flower Boy felt that peace. I hope we all do,
as often as possible.
As he stood over me, I wound the purple ropes between
his legs, echoing the knots and loops of the harness above. His dick was fat
and joyful beneath his grey briefs, beneath my pulling and adjusting and
re-adjusting. Each time I grazed it lovingly, sparks of happiness sparkled in
my fingertips and all through my body. I hope he felt sparkly too!
