I didn't feel like looking anything up, but this felt like a good way to keep practicing my chain stitch. And! I can do an alpine loop without looking it up now! For the most part! Somewhat-daily knot practice is paying off.
I still miss Sweet Valentine so much, it's hard not to rehearse for rejection or reach out and try to get his attention. Giving us both space to reflect is kind and loving, but I hate it and wish it could be over already. I hate living in uncertainty, but it's very good for me to practice. I guess if my heart misses him all month long, that's some information for me.
I have the dating apps paused for now too--not because I'm waiting for him (I'm kind of waiting for him.) but because I don't want to do the addictiony thing of trying to "fix" one set of feelings with another. I want to be present with myself and feel all the things! Mostly I want to feel trust and self-love. Sometimes I even feel serene.
Lastly guess what! I ordered longer, goddess-sized ropes! They're turquoise and should arrive on Friday! I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize it would be nice to have bigger ropes for my great big body! That feels like love.
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