New Guys, Old Triggers, Real Dating Break, Part One

 

Please send good luck that this therapist will remain a match! The last one I tried used the phrase "sister wives" in reference to poly. She'd said some helpful stuff before that though!

Last Thursday was a two-date day, and I was excited about both! I was meeting the Guy With a Big Telescope for lunch at Emotionally Neutral Diner, and then Le Monsieur was picking me up (in his faaaaancy car) in the evening to come visit his new apartment. I felt horny and shiny and new, amazing how the optimism always shines through.

GWBT was sooooo cute, just the right combination of grown-up and boyish. (He’s 39.) I liked him because his profile mentioned the possibility of stargazing dates, perfect for summer! The big telescope is not a euphemism, he really sent a picture! He was hesitant about the writing-about-stuff aspect of things, but otherwise seemed like he might be a lovely match!

GWBT had warm vibes and was such a gentleman, even offering to have them make me a to-go order in case my French toast didn’t end up being filling enough. Less charming was when he watched out the window as a lady parallel parked, critiquing her entire process.

Still, SO cute. He loved to travel and talked about wanting to whisk me away for a weekend sometime. He was installing a new speaker system in his car just in time for beach trips. (He mocked his current system for having not just a CD player but a TAPE DECK, and I felt envious because I just have a CD player in mine.)

(Side note: Many things are uncertain, but it’s very clear to me that I would like to not be the one doing all the driving in my next relationship.)

Anyway, he was a somewhat plausible catch until:

He: I like your first date outfit, can’t wait to see what you’ll wear on our tenth date!

(Okay I like this line.)

Me: It’s cute that you’d think I’d wear clothes on our tenth date!

Okay, I was being a little obnoxious, but he literally said:

“Shhh!” and looked around like we were going to get in trouble.

I’ve had enough of that particular look-around for this lifetime and the next. And shushing on a first date!

Two Hauntings and a Lovely Monsieur, Part Deux

Last Monday was my first pool day of the summer. It was a glorious, shining day to read a mystery book on a blanket under the tall trees, listening to the chatter of the families nearby, but the water was too cold to go in. I went home for a nap but before I dozed off, emboldened and about to be rested, I asked Le Monsieur if he wanted to come over that night for a walk. Maybe we could hold hands in the beautiful mild first moments of summer, beneath a waxing half-moon.

Le Monsieur came up my driveway more beautiful than his picture: tall, angular, bespectacled. He was wearing a pretty orange-gold woven print shirt and pants that matched. He looked cosmopolitan and assured, if a little mystified to suddenly be here.

As we walked along my well-worn woodsy neighborhood route, his first touch beyond handholding was to gently grab the back of my hair, right there in front of the moon and everybody. When we sat down in my favorite little park to chat, he delicately took off my shoe and rubbed my foot. I was glad I’d done a pink and gold pedicure the day before.

When I brought him home and to bed, he taught me the word chateullement,tickle. He thrust his dick into my mouth and his hand deep inside me, my legs up the wall. Beneath him, sucking him happily and deeply, I felt an oasis of unselfconsciousness, just me and the beautiful dick and the smell of summer and sandalwood and subtle cologne. He came easily for me, saltier than the sea.

Since then, I’ve put Duolingo back on my phone, re-taking-up not just French but Spanish too. I’ve even started learning the Hebrew letters just for fun. Oh, the languages, les langues, the tongues. I’m picturing Elizabeth Gilbert practicing Italian in the tub at the beginning of Eat Pray Love and hoping for a summer of pleasure, one way or the other. All the ways.