Totoro and a Visit From 2016, Part Two

 I don't know what's better than making out on the couch in front of a few episodes of Adventure Time! Probably nothing! But I wanted to take this snuggle party to bed.

First, I shuffled around in my playlist to find just the right song. I settled on Miles Fisher's cover of This Must Be the Place, dreamy and automated and perfectly spectrumy. "Home/Is where I want to be/but I guess I'm already there." The perfect longing, fulfilled. I felt a little self-conscious about the aptness of the song as we climbed the stairs.

I wanted Angel Boy in my bed so badly, and there he was, in my girly pink marshmallow cloud sanctuary, my happiest happy place. He was a happy place too. I took off my favorite (white with bi-colored flowers) summer princess dress, leaving on my favorite lavender lacy underthings, a gift from The Shy One that keeps on giving. Angel Boy stripped to his boxer briefs and I swooned with happiness feeling his soft, warm, fuzzy skin next to mine. On mine.

He was, as promised, softly dommy, but he let me pull his hair. As I carefully tugged at the scruff of his neck, a growl came from all the way inside him, he tensed and sprung upon me, that favorite kind of kiss where the tiniest part of me thinks I might be eaten.

He pulled down my pretty bra and sucked my nipples, too hard at first and then just right. "OH!" I cried out, mentally checking to remember the window was closed. I was in a cloud of blankets and stuffies and pleasure. When he went for my clit, I was soaked slick for him, the feeling was monumental. With his fingers inside me, I felt powerful, transcendent. I was grounded in my body in a way that felt new, a new kind of health.

After a good loud while, Angel Boy looked a little shyly into my eyes and asked-without-asking if I'd orgasmed, and I told him the tide would just keep rolling, let's take a break.

I love holding him and being held, kissing and nuzzling, but guess what I love even more: an impromptu sing-along. Tears for Fears Everybody Wants to Rule the World came on and, tentatively at first, we sang. 

"Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever..."

Friends, I don't know how he does it, but this guy stops time.

Totoro and a Visit from 2016, Part One

 Last Wednesday, Angel Boy and I had a date--he was coming over to watch My Neighbor Totoro on my comically small TV. I picked him up again from his Cute Guy Job and when he got in the car, his skin was cool from the work air conditioning. I kissed his hand and rubbed his cool arm all over my sweaty face. I'm sure I've described people as oases before, that's what he felt like, cool and soothing. And almost too beautiful to look at.

I was so excited to have him over to the series of nests that is my apartment. I made a special trip to get the snack he asked for. On my couch, he felt so right, by-now warm arms around me, bouncing to the Totoro theme, pure well-being.

Younger Cat didn't have to consider Angel Boy for too long before she was in my lap, purring with the vibes. We talked about things like why trees sometimes have necklaces on. Ohboy I just love Totoro so much. I love saying "soot sprites" as many times as I want to. I love petting the soft hair on Angel Boy's arm. I love going in for a cheek-kiss and getting a chip-filled mouth instead.

"Most people just want the mouth," he said and shrugged.

There was a new emotion!! How are there so many new emotions even at my advanced age?!

I asked him to hand me my new Build-a-Bear. She is a fairy bear covered with silver stars. Her name is Pinecone because I like the part in Fire Walk With Me when Laura finds a pinecone. She is scented like the most artificial of strawberries, the distilled essence of the 1980s.

"The perfect little girl smell" I said "That sounds weird but you know what I mean."

He said, blissfully and decisively, "Yeah, you're a little."

"I'm not...not..." I shrugged and then felt a whoosh of silence and safety. I felt peaceful and contained and treasured. Loved. It was me and him and the stuffie and the cat and somewhere in the house was the other cat and we were all together, a pack.

"You're in my pack" I said, and he agreed.

I don't know how long we stayed that way, but I felt an almost supernatural happiness, the kind that might come from sprouting seeds with a giant tripartite forest spirit who gets really excited about umbrellas.

Angel Boy had described himself as a "Soft Daddy Dom" the week before, and the parental nickname didn't bother my OCD like it usually does. Yes, I thought. Care and cuddling. Approval. Good girl. I don't think I'm a little because that would be too confusing with all the grownup stuff, but I hope those moments of feeling treasured, warm, and safe with stick with me for a long time to come.