Fell in Like with The Drummer, Part Two: Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas

 

 

It was the second weekend of December 2020. I had just pulled off my yearly Christmas gathering via Zoom so the place was decorated and full of beautiful cookies. I was really, really, REALLY excited to text through a bad movie with The Drummer, if a little concerned that I’d gone too far in the BAD direction. Maybe, I thought, not everyone would be entertained by the combination of Tiger Beat heartthrob and mocking Christianity. He’d been doing such a lovely job for a couple of weeks, praising (eee!) my photos of Christmas crafts and keeping me up to date on how cute his dog was being.

 

It was lovely not to feel the press towards sexting that so often comes with online dating. Once, when he said there should be a combination of all the holidays with an orgy post-vaccine, I briefly strayed into tinsel-bondage talk (Pretty image but really terrible idea I’ll bet!) but mostly there was this old-fashioned getting-to-know-each other that I really enjoyed.

 

I knew he deserved better than Saving Christmas but it seemed like good movies were a thing for in-person times.

 

When it was almost time to press play, I put on a pretty sweater and some red lipstick and took a selfie in front of Lenny Spruce, my Christmas tree. (Because of Mrs. Maisel, they’re always named that, but this year it was especially exciting to get an actual spruce!) He (The Drummer, not Lenny Spruce) pronounced the selfie adorable and it was time to start the movie.

 

In the past few weeks, it’s dawned on me that in the MST3K family of products, it’s extremely rare to see not-a-white-man doing the riffing. (S/o to Baron Vaughn the best Tom Servo though!) Sure Felicia Day is sometimes there being awesome and Gypsy got in a rare word or two, but the actual riffing part was something I never considered I might like to do. I may not be funny or clever, I might make too many Midsommar references, but mocking bad movies is the best quarantine hobby I’ve found so far.

 

The Drummer’s sense of humor matched very nicely with mine—a combination of present-day compassion and Gen X irritation. Every once in a while as the quips popped up in the Bumble yellow bubbles I had to just stop and say “OMG I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW” before going back to ironytown. Cute artist drummer guy mocking a terrible movie with me while I drank wine and ate Christmas cookies?! Has ANYTHING ever been better? Perfect. Just such a silly respite and joy.

Even better, he ended the conversation by:

1.      Asking me to pick the next movie.

2.      Mentioning that Left Behind is a trilogy

And

3.      A kiss emoji.

 

I gave him my number and we joked that this could either lead to a Growing Pains podcast or a cult, or both. OH The Drummer, you are such a gift and a treat.