"Oh my poor heart," I said, calming down a little. I'm really really proud of how kind I could be towards myself in the midst of hurt and grief. I've been working in my Fierce Self-Compassion workbook, and it shows. Growing and changing and whatever, hooray!
Anyway it felt fatelike when! I picked up my phone and! There was Puzzle Guy, asking if he could come over after work and grab the sneakers he left here last time. I said sure, as long as he grabbed me too!
I got a little bit of my usual post-therapy nap in before he arrived, and I saw no reason to exit the bed when he got here. We both took off our clothes and he got into bed with me and just...rested. He was so warm and safe and comforting, it felt like I was getting a reward just for existing. Maybe I was!
I wasn't sure if I'd be into sexytimes so soon after all the sobbing, but as we lay there being cozy and catching up, I felt a little flicker through me, and after a bunch more snuggling just came out and said "I'm feeling pretty horny now."
That'll get a guy out of little spoon position and onto my face. His kisses were such a lovely mix of urgent and soft, just as delightfully tongue-forward as could be. When he went for my nipples, I watched his long tongue play and play, knowing I'd picture that hotness for maybe the rest of my personal-time life. He pointed his tongue and wagged it over my tits, slurping me up.
And oh, Puzzle Guy's dick. It's looong and thick and uncut, infinitely play-with-able. His knee had gone out a few days before, so I didn't expect to get fucked. But I was wrong. I bent over the bed and stood on my tiptoes so he could slide in, and it felt so, SO good. I was immediately screaming into my pillows, and it wasn't long before I had to ask for a break. He was overwhelming and I was GRATEFUL.
Come to think of it, this was maybe the first time I EVER asked for a break during penetration, though it was far from the first time I've ever gotten overwhelmed. I was always so afraid the dick was gonna go away and never come back, so I just powered through! No regrets there, but I really try to keep my powering-through to a minimum these days.
After my break, another round, this time on my back with my hips straining upward to meet him.
Friends, I've had so many lovely connections and progresses and joys all year, but it had been WAY too long since I just got thoroughly FUCKED. Oh I needed it.
As he was getting ready to go home, I lay on the silky sheets of my bedside floor-nest, sighing dreamily. I was spent, in a cloud of relief and pleasure. I walked around carrying extra sensuality for a few days after, satisfied and soft.
Puzzle Guy remembered to take his sneakers with him this time, who knows if or when he'll come back. If he does, I'll welcome him with open arms and open legs, oh thank you, thank you, thank you!