Monday, July 29, 2013

Beach Party as Benchmark: A+

Every year, a bunch of the regional poly and bi groups get together and have a party at the nude beach. Last year that party was my first day there and it went like this. Although last year’s day was a good, healing experience, being in the middle of so much sadness with Sweetie made me feel isolated from everyone and kept us from really being part of the party.

What with the divorce, it seems like this year the party should be sadder, but it was a pure joy. I drove down by myself (I could’ve carpooled, but the divorce grief can be unpredictable and I wanted to be able to make a quick getaway if need be.) and was so excited to spend the day with a favorite friend, The Lady of the House, who happens to be one of the best pals to have come out of these adventures. There are people there that I had all kinds of connections with: One friend who remembered me fondly as his first rope top, a group of adorables I remembered from a good game of Cards Against Humanity, so many nice people I’ve seen naked bunches of times.

It was the prettiest beach day you’d ever see. The sky was bright, the breeze was gentle, and the sun was hot but not oppressive. I spent the day chatting and flirting in the water or just bobbing around happily by myself, snoozing to the sound of good conversations, and making new friends over a pop culture reference laden game of Taboo. If this is supposed to be the year of connection, Saturday was one of its most successful days.

My marriage (and the attendant anger and shame) was unquestionably isolating me, and the further I get from it, the more I feel myself opening up and getting more warm and confident. It’s so cool to look back and see how far I’ve come. If I can get us safely through this transition, I can see so much flirty, friendly, lovey-dovey goodness on the horizon. That was a comforting thought as Sweetie and I slogged back into apartment-sorting yesterday.

Also! I just want to come out and say that it’s very important to me that my next partner(s) love the ocean. 


  1. You are right - I love this post! So good to see you growing into confidence and discovering your personal ingredients to joy. "Must love the ocean" is a good rule!

  2. I'm so lucky and proud of the friends my adventures have brought me! <3