Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Last Letter

So I reopened the blog so that I could tell this story. I'll start by posting my last letter to him. I am sad and brokenhearted and cannot believe that another story is ending this way.

I don't regret trying to give you another chance, even if you thought otherwise. Though you can't see it, I thought there was genuine value in what we shared.
Nor do I regret showing vulnerability, nervousness, and other genuine emotions. I am not fragile. I just wanted to let you know how I was feeling.
I deserve all of the things I asked you for: to be treated with kindness and respect, to be focused on and cared for, to be treated like a partner and a friend, not as an afterthought and a toy.
It is not playing on a "higher level" to be callous and heartless and expect silent subservience to whatever skank you throw my way. It is abuse. I could not understand how you got from the loving scene at ---------to what you did to me the other night, and what you did to me tonight.
Expecting someone not to have emotions in the face of genuine trauma (or genuine excitement, for that matter!) is predatory and bullying.
Also, you should probably take "abandonment" off your "don'ts" list.

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