"So now that we're friends on Fetlife and I've masturbated to your photos, what are your thoughts on teaching me the 'ropes'? I'll supply the mix tapes."
I'm torn between:
1. My love of being masturbated to
2. My fondness for mixtapes
3. My desire to be treated with a modicum of respect
4. My complete aversion from trying to teach anybody to top me
Dangit, three and four win out!