(I just found out from FetLife posts that notorious local predator was at the party that night. I seriously hope it wasn’t the guy I flirted with—we know I have iffy taste sometimes…)
There was a little while when they couldn’t find the ropes I’d ordered, and let me tell you, I felt like a real fetishist at that moment. The proprietress was kind enough to lend me her kit for the class, but my brain kept saying pink! I daydreamed it pink! It has to be pink to go with the pink pajamas and my lucky undies. I guess an artistic vision is an artistic vision. The pink ropes were found and I was overjoyed.
I went to change into my pajamas. Sweetie and I got beers and milled around getting up the courage. We struck up a conversation with a top I’d been flirting with during the class, and I offered to be a supporting character for him, should he need one on another night. Then he went off to flog a lady who was not his sub while his sub explored her options—adorable.
I’d spent all week picturing the scene as me standing in the middle of things while she undressed me and wrapped me up. We took a spot in the middle of the floor, near to, but out of reach of, both the cute gut’s and the switchy couple’s floggers. I put my hands up and Sweetie took off my pajama top. I left my glasses on so that I could watch everybody else. This was a keep-your-nipples-covered party so I had to leave on my black bra. A few of the women in the room had X-es of black tape on their nipples, but I don’t think that’d work for me. They’re so big that the tape might just pop right off.
The music was unfortunate, loud and distracting, Eighties hits that gave me little pangs of Bill, I don’t know why. Sweetie took her time wrapping the rope around me, had to stop and start and readjust. She told me afterwards that she’d been self-conscious. She made a loose halter on top, wove some ropes around my waist (I really like that) and cuffed my wrists together in front of me. I wanted to be spanks but all of the kneeler thingies were taken, so we pulled up an ordinary stacking chair and I knelt down on it.
At first, she had me so that my ass was facing away from the room, but I had her turn it around. I wanted them to see. I had on my favorite undies, the ones I’d worn for Bill and Fireguy and the Mayor of Kittentown and lots of times for Sweetie. I love the feeling of having my undies arranged just so for a spanking, the fabric being pulled gently this way and that. I loved the fact that everyone could see her paying attention to me.
Now, spanking isn’t Sweetie’s favorite thing. She only started trying it a few months ago and saw how happy and calm it makes me. She’s got a natural talent for it, not too gentle, not too hurty. Spank, pet, spank, pet, stinging then rubbing away the stinging. I was subdued, in spite of the Eighties music, but the chair was hurting my neck so we moved to one of the sets of padded benches off to the side.
I lay on my belly and she tied my hands behind my back. I gave her my glasses but I wish I hadn’t—she told me later that the couple on the next bench over had a knife involved. I’d’ve liked to have seen that, but she would not have.
I felt us fall into the roles of top and bottom in a way that we hadn’t before. I liked trusting her that way, seeing her as a commanding presence. But remember when I said I wondered what the doms were whispering to the subs? In this case, it’s “What do I do next?”
When she pulled my hair and spanked, I almost really did cry. My heart was really grieving over Bill that day (I don’t know why, after all these months, he’s such a looming figure. Maybe because what happened with him is much easier to fathom than what happened with Fireguy.) and I guess the hair-pulling brought it out. I didn’t stop her, just felt her gentleness and the heartbreak and felt empty and sad and lost but also loved and protected. It’s beautiful how she took on this world for me, how much she’s pushed her boundaries just to share his with me. I love her so much for it.
After that, she tied me to a chair and kissed me. I love the feeling of being kissed in front of everyone, and it was a strange sensation to do this sort of playacting kiss with someone that I know so well, someone I’ve kissed so many times before. She felt like a new person, we both did.
When our scene was done, she wrapped me up in my blanket. Aftercare feels kind of silly with someone I’ve loved so long, spent so many many hours on the couch with. I liked hugging her but felt like I’d just as soon be home in bed. We wouldn’t stay too much longer, but first, she put fresh socks on my feet and wove the rope around my ankles. I laid down my head on my cute suitcase and relaxed. Then we decided to go home. The cute flogger guy expressed some disappointment that we were leaving, but I told him I’d be back on my own sometime.
So much of BDSM has been about learning to trust men, so I missed that leap-of-faith aspect of it when I was playing with Sweetie. But it was such a gift to get to see just how deeply I do trust her, and how very much she loves me.
Next: The Ropes at Home: Smut About My Wife, Hooray!